Time To Embrace The Darkness, Rugby

On 1st February 2013, Rugby along with Nuneaton and Bedworth, followed the lead of Warwick and implemented a Part-Night Lighting scheme with 39,000 street lights switched off between the hours of midnight and 5.30am (Stratford and North Warwickshire will begin their own part night lighting scheme in April 2013). It’s all part of a Warwickshire County Council Plan to save a lot of money, but it is fair to say that it is not without it’s critics.

The lobby against Part-Night Lighting hinge their objections on the suggestion that such an action will have a detrimental effect on overall public safety. They fear that there will be an increase in thefts and attacks in areas without lighting….

Of course, it is a well known fact that all that stands between the average person and a random act of violence and/or public disorder is the presence of street lighting between the hours of midnight and 5:30 am. The streets will be awash with violence as people’s carnal senses enjoy their freedom from the conservative restraint of street lighting…but probably not.

Other places that have implemented Part-Night Lighting Schemes have not seen dramatic increases in violent attacks, muggings or rapes. As one of the estates affected by the switch-off, I can honestly report that there does not appear to have been a dramatic increase in cannibalism or a breakdown of the basic sensibilities of society.

No, In my humble opinion, Part-Night Lighting is a good idea, here’s why:

It saves the local authority a lot of money by not having to pointlessly keep lit street lights that aren’t really benefiting anyone. Why should you care about saving the local authority any money? That’s rather simple, the local authority does lots of groovy things that you, if you sat and think about it, will probably want it to keep doing for the foreseeable future, things like providing social care, looking after roads etc. In order to keep doing these things and make the savings Eric Pickles expects, local authorities have to stop doing things that are arguably a bit pointless. Lighting 38 000 street lights between 12 am and 5:30 am is arguably a bit pointless.

Also great news for anyone with a telescope and a love of the stars. Light pollution, mainly from fluorescent street lighting, blocks out so much; it’s why when you’re out in the countryside there appear to be far more stars in the sky. We’re lucky in Rugby to have a decent view of the heavens that is relatively free from light pollution, but the difference when the lights go out is both noticeable lovely. Find out more about the campaign for dark sky reserves.

Still not enough? The vital services saved? The beautiful tableaux of a pollution free night sky? No? Well it will also reduce carbon emissions by 3000 tonnes. 3000 tonnes! That means there will be at least 13.6 Polar Bears that won’t die…possibly, I’m never totally sure on the exact Carbon to polar-bear-not-dying exchange rate.

Dear Mr & Mrs Outraged Middle Class, Do Be Brief.

Alas, there is already talk of a review into the part-night lighting and I, for one, think that’s a shame. All too often ‘a review’ is cunning code for ‘we’re going to cave in to the ill-thought of views of the irate letter-writing middle classes.’

Make no mistake, the letter-writers will ruin it for everyone! They find themselves at such a loss of anything even approximating a life that their only recourse is to send angry emails to their local newspaper editor, their local MP, in fact anyone who is paid enough to endure their misguided prattle. If democracy no longer works it’s because this lot killed it.

The huge irony is Mr and Mrs Rabidly Outraged Middle Class don’t actually have any vested interest in lighting after midnight. They don’t tend to be in professions where there is a requirement for night time working and they are certainly not out and about in the street after midnight. They probably broadly agree with the idea of local authorities saving money too, they’d just rather that savings be found somewhere else other than the street lighting that they get no benefit from or the libraries that they haven’t used for years. They’re nimby hypocrites of the highest order.

I hope they don’t win here and we continue to embrace the darkness in Rugby.

Disclosure

In the interest of disclosure, I am employed by Warwickshire County Council, but these views are my views as a private citizen of Warwickshire affected by part-night lighting. As such, all these views are totally my own and not endorsed in any way by my employer.

I choose my words carefully and stand by them, but you know the score, right? If you don’t like these thoughts, stick around, I have loads of others.

Give me back my face… #NaNoWriWee

I may have mentioned that I took part in Kernel Mags #NaNoWriWee challenge to write a novel in just 30 hours? You hadn’t heard…okay, just to recap:

Find out more about #NaNoWriWee

Read my entry: Singularity

Read a short extract from Singularity: Tale of the Unseen Hand

Read the other entries

To cut a long story short, I’ve been thinking it might be nice to have a cover for my piece and I was wondering if a lovely artists or illustrator out there who has read Singularity might be kind enough to do me one.

I have something in mind, dreamed up on a late night with just the right amount of whisky. In my head, the planet earth, seen past a terraformed moon, swirls in thick black clouds and forms the eye of the traditional illuminati ‘all seeing eye’. At each corner of the pyramid that forms the outside of the eye is a circular panel featuring one of the three main characters: Lancelot (possibly with Guinevere) The Archivist and The Singularity (in physical form).

If that captures anyone’s attention and imagination or even you’ve read Singularity and have a better idea for a front cover, please get in touch. I’d love to hear from you!

Sneak Peek at Singularity – My Submission for #Nanowriwee

The Tale of the Unseen Hand

Where there is chaos, you will find us.

When there is chaos, we thrive.

For countless millennia, we have been watching your Kind.

They will say that I am the villain of the piece. We have grown quite adept at being the villain of the piece and I don’t mind really, it is a label that has always suited my ends well.

I think it’s important that you love your job. Chances are you’re going to spend a lot of time working, so it’s wise to try and make the best of it. I certainly love my job, which often surprises people when I tell them, partly because no one recalls a time when there wasn’t The Archivist reigning over the Monastic Order of Telepaths and partly because no one really understands the work that I do and the few that do see it as something sinister or in some way distasteful. My job is both sinister and distasteful at times, sometimes things have to be done that are not pleasant, but still must be done. The Archivist exists to perform those tasks and perform them rather well, if I do say so myself.

The Archivist has not always been my name. I trace my lineage back to the days of Earth. I was young in the days before the fall, before that infernal Coming Darkness descended on the planet that was to be ours. In those times, before the Darkness Came, and the times before that, I was known by a good many names, but most frequently by that of Kezef. Some of the oldest books to have survived from Earth tell the various stories of Kezef at great length, but they are seldom read by anyone these days, their power over Humanity has been lost. We had to react to these changes, to maintain our position in the universe.

The fall of Mankind and the death of Earth changed everything for our organisation. 26^th March, 2125, that single day when 14 billion humans along with all other life perished. We had failed, with all our power, all our money and all our influence, we had failed. We were expected to see the future, the past and the present, all at once; it is the gift that the universe has bestowed upon us. Such compelling power and yet not one of our Order saw the Coming of Darkness approach. So many of us were lost on that day. I should have perished too…

Read more here: Singularity

#NaNoWriWee 26th and 27th January 2013

For those of you who don’t know, a couple of weekends ago I took part in #nanowriwee which was organised by Kernel Mag in conjunction with publisher HarperCollins. You can find out more about the event in The Kernel. Been remiss in not posting this sooner but life and being mortal got in the way.

The premise is rather simple: over a weekend, writers, journalists and miscellaneous creative types would come together and each try to write a novel in just 30 hours. It sounded crazy the first time I saw it advertised and, to be fair, it probably is. Received wisdom teaches us that great works of fiction don’t get written in 30 hours. A friend, a writer, described it as a fool’s errand, but I do like a challenge so I have now written a Novella-ish in 30 hours. I’m so pleased I did, it’s one of the most rewarding and fun weekends I’ve had. I wasn’t alone, 122 pieces of fiction, of varying length and style, were submitted from all over the world, by the deadline at midnight on the Sunday the 27th. I Wanted to share some of my experiences.

I decided not to venture out to London to write my novel at Kernel Mag HQ, instead choosing to write mine in our office at home in Rugby.

I have some regrets about not going to London, as all reports from those who did have been of a supportive and creative environment. I was worried I would be too easily distracted by others and not manage to finish the task. I was equally worried that my incredibly loud typing might have me thrown out and barred; anyone who has ever worked with me can attest to this, the keys have been bad, they must be punished. So I missed out on a part of the experience, but throughout the Twitter hashtag #nanowriwee provided ample support for writers taking a break from the slog.

You can read accounts from Shirley Ayres and Chris Brosnahan who were both at Kernel HQ over that weekend.

I’m certain I would not have been able to complete the challenge were it not for the support of my beautiful wife Lara. From 8am on Saturday morning until 10pm on Sunday when she went to bed I was taken very good care of, provided with endless cups of coffee and three meals throughout the day while ensuring not to offer too much in the way of distraction while being supportive of her, increasingly frazzled, husband. I’m a very lucky man, there’s no doubt about that!

So, what did I learn? (in no particular order)

I’m really rubbish at picking titles for novella: Singularity was chosen as title for my Sci-fi masterpiece towards the end of my 30 hours…not exactly my most inspired moment, Singularity was the name of the first chapter I wrote and therefore the name that Word picked to save the file under. I should probably come up with a) a better title or b) a better story for the title.

I learned that, no matter how much I might like it to be true, I did not think up the line: ‘Here I stand with the knife in my hand and now I understand why the genius must die’. That’s a lyric from the Iron Maiden track Edge of Darkness which I probably hadn’t heard for at least 10 years, but still managed to recall word-for-word with the exception of the source until post-submission.

There should be a name for a work of fiction that is longer than what can reasonably be termed a long story but a little shorter than what can be thought a novella. I quite like Novella-ish which feels quite a fitting description for my work.

I learned that writing for 15 hours a day, almost continuously, for two days is exhausting. I’m not overstating that in the slightest, it was far harder than I had ever appreciated. By Sunday night it had sapped every ounce of strength from my body, leaving my brain feeling decidedly like it had the consistency of a cheese soup. I’ve been reckless in the past, fun but reckless, I’ve gone quite long periods without sleep, but seldom have I been so tired. It took me the best part of a week, filled with much more sleep than I would usually have, to recover from the weekend; it’s been a long time since I said that.

I was reminded how much I enjoy writing, totally exhausting granted, but I loved every single moment doing it. Not since I was a student have I really had the opportunity to sit down and focus on a single piece of writing like I did over that weekend. Writing has always felt exhilarating to me; the excitement of crafting totally new worlds out of words, crackling with potential, The exhilaration of creating and completing such a work in such a short space of time remains, though tempered somewhat by recent events.

I learned that, despite my long-held suspicions that I had been a pretty awful student, I remembered most of what I’d been taught by David Morley and the other brilliant writers on the Warwick University Creative Writing Programme. I’m not sure whether I would have been able to get through the challenge without using some of their techniques. I shared this link before the event, but these writing challenges are a really useful resource.

I learned that if you are not going to go completely abstract and plan to write a traditional novella with a beginning, a middle and an end, it is advantageous to know what that ending will be before you start writing the final chapters.

I’ve learned that the story I just planned to tell in a weekend seems to have the legs to become a lot bigger over time, already written some material around the fringes of my submission.

Finally, I learned that although one day I will possess the prowess as a writer to convincingly describe sex between a man and a badly damaged android in a zero gravity environment, that time is not yet. Perhaps not ever. Seriously, sex in a zero-g environment, ponder that thought if you will.

Well done to Nero and The Kernel for organising a great event and congratulations to everyone who took part whether you submitted a piece or not. Same again next year!?

A White Flag

Yesterday, I discovered that Chris Huhne’s son, Peter, hates his Dad. Out of all the terrible things we now know about Chris Huhne, the fact his Son hates him is perhaps the most trivial. Trivial perhaps, but it’s a fact that all the News outlets felt the need to run with on their respective front pages. Why?

We’re a warlike species, we humans, it’s seldom enough to beat an opponent. No, victory is not enough, all too often we feel the desire to destroy our opponents. Huhne’s opponents had soundly exposed their target, but it wasn’t enough, every aspect if his life had to be picked apart and destroyed. Welcome to the age of escalation.

Something has got to give.
The
Recently, I found I had an enemy. My enemy felt so threatened that I might expose his secrets that, without thinking any more than a matter of minutes, took it upon himself to try and destroy one of the things in my life that means the most to me: my career.

I didn’t know anything damaging about my attacker at the time other than the fact their behaviour towards people is as atrocious as behaviour they so readily condemned in others. They did not seek clarity about what I planned to expose, but hey I guess facts don’t matter before you try to senselessly destroy a man’s life.

Facts matter to me.

People matter to me.

If me and you have an argument, on or offline, I will stand my ground, but it’s never personal. If the only place I have to go is to seek to destroy your life, then I’ll stop way short. Why? I have to look at myself in the mirror every day and when I do I want to know that the person staring back isn’t the sort of person who destroys the lives of others on a whim, whether to prove a point or to protect my secrets. I am better than that.

This last week is the closest I have ever come to abandoning my ideals in this area. In fact had I not read those horrific texts between Chris and Peter Huhne then perhaps this would have been a lot different post. Just because others have lower standards than my own I will not be lowering mine to compete. I have never been, nor ever will be, in the business of destroying people, even when they afford me no such courtesy.

So, this is not an escalation, but I hope my attacker reads it, because this is a white flag. You win. I just can’t compete with the extents you are so happy to go to to destroy an enemy.

If you are reading this, please know: I don’t hate you. My experience is, life is far too short to waste on hate. No, I don’t hate you, I pity you and I forgive you. I hope you have taken whatever you expected to get from the pain you have caused me and that it was worth it.

It will always strike me as sad that you didn’t spend the time checking out whether the person whose life you were so hell-bent on destroying was someone who you’d have otherwise probably got on well with. So, so sad.

What brave, brave heroes the Left hold up as their atheist Gods.

This is the last I will say on the matter.

The end really is not nigh

On December 21st 2012, very little out-of-the-ordinary will happen.

Or

On December 21st 2012, large amounts of life on earth will be destroyed.

Or

On December 21st 2012, Humanity (sometimes life in all its forms) will undergo a shift of consciousness.

Here’s my prediction: On December 21st 2012, very little out-of-the-ordinary will happen, because, do you know who get it wrong a lot?

People who predict the end of the world.

History is littered with people who are sure that the end is nigh and that year is definitely the year that the world ends. There is a good article on Wikipedia Listing apocalyptic predictions throughout the ages, but here are some gems:

Many early Christian’s were adamant that Jesus was going to return within a single generation of his ascension (or death, if you prefer logic), which would trigger the rapture. As it turned-out, they were wrong, but that hasn’t stopped numerous groups since predicting exactly the same return of Christ and the end of days.

In 375 AD, Martin of Tours was sure 400 AD would be the year. It stood to reason, after all, the Antichrist had ‘definitely already been born’ and therefore the return of Christ was sure to follow. Jesus was a no show and history does not record what Martin thought became of the Antichrist.

On Feb 20th 1524, Johannes Stöffler reasoned that a particular celestial alignment would trigger the end of days. Unfortunately for Stöffler that day came and went, not to be deterred, he decided he had made a mistake, but that the world would end 4 years later, February 20th 1528. It did not.

In our more recent history, the return of Jesus was no longer the most popular way that we would all meet our end, having been replaced with fears about terror from the stars and/or planet-wide natural disasters. December 21st, 1954, was the date that Dorothy Martin was sure humanity would perish under tidal waves and terrible flooding. She knew this as leader of a UFO Cult who were in regular contact with their celestial masters. She was wrong and, feeling so cheated, her disciples abandoned her.

March 31st 1998 Hon-Ming Chen, leader of the Taiwanese cult God’s Salvation Church, or Chen Tao — “The True Way” — claimed that God would come to Earth in a flying saucer at 10:00 am on this date. Moreover, God would have the same physical appearance as Chen himself, (which was a stroke of luck). On March 25, God was to appear on Channel 18 on every TV set in the US. This did not happen.

On December 21st 2012, the Mayan’s predicted that the world would come to an end…chances are you’ve heard this story, some of you may even hold some sway in it in one form or another. But it’s rubbish.

The theory, relates to the Mayan Long Count Calendar System, which probably originated with the much earlier Olmec Civilisation, but the Olmecs are just not as sexy as the Mayans when it comes to new age guff. The Calendar puts the end of a cycle, not the end of the world, at around 21st December 2012. The devotees of this particular flavour of crazy will tell you no later dates have been found at archeological sites anywhere in Mexico, Peru or Belize, this is untrue as numerous dates have been discovered after December 21st 2012. This is kind of unfortunate as the whole movement hinges around the Mayan’s believing the world would end on this date and contemplating dates after would be pointless. In spite of the rather conclusive evidence against the Mayan’s (or any other early meso-American culture) predicting the end of days, a brief Google Search reveals many new age sites still peddling this rubbish.

If you travelled back in time 10 years, you would find plenty of groups and individuals who subscribed to the Mayan Apocalypse theory, but since then there has been a subtle change in thought. Possibly realising the aforementioned maxim that predicting the end of the world is risky business, a lot of the New Age Movement jumped on the idea of the end of a cycle. Fiery death and oblivion were repackaged as a planet-wide shift of consciousness, enlightenment and/or realisation on the connectedness of all life on earth.

I actually have much greater respect for those who have stuck by their guns and maintain a belief that the Mayan’s predicted the end of days. I can get my head around apocalypse, I can define it and, should it happen, I’m not likely to miss it. The same cannot be said for shifts of consciousness, which seems so much harder to define, even by the people claiming this is what December 21st 2012 will bring.

I have friends who subscribe to this these theories, we have vicious arguments and outstanding bets that I’ll be claiming on 22nd December when the world has not ended and no one has undergone a huge shift of consciousness.

If you want your fill of non-Mayan potential doom, the Doomsday Clock, the symbolic clock face, maintained since 1947 by the board of directors of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists at the University of Chicago, currently sits at 5 minutes to midnight based on ‘Lack of global political action to address nuclear weapons stockpiles, the potential for regional nuclear conflict, nuclear power safety, and global climate change…’

So what do you think? I’m always open to well-reasoned counter-arguments, though I have yet to encounter any on this topic. Surprise me.

Liked this?

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We’re all going to die here!
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My first year blogging

You know those really annoying episodes of American TV shows, where they do just clips of older episodes? Yeah, this is one of those!

Today is exactly a year since I registered this blog and I’m all about marking the passing of arbitrary periods of time…

Joking aside, it does present me with the rather good opportunity to say a heartfelt thanks to everyone who has read my posts over the last year, to those who have commented, in both agreement and otherwise, and to everyone who has shared my content with their networks. I’m handing out virtual hugs and cookies this evenimg and you all get one.

Blogging’s hard. It always surprises people when I say that.

‘But you’re a writer, isn’t that just what you do?’ They often ask.

It’s true, I write every day, without fail, it’s my compulsion, but most of you will never read what I write each day, because it’s not intended to be read. Often it’s a part of my creative process, not the end result and the bits that do go on to become something more go through a rigourous editing process, often lasting weeks or even months, before they see the light of day. It’s a timeline I’ve always felt happy with, but it just doesn’t work for blogging.

My blogging timeline has an inbuilt motivational tyranny to it, which has taken me a while to get used to. To begin with, the thought of publishing content only hours after it existed solely as unconnected thoughts in my head terrified me. I’ll be honest, it still scares me a little and this is part of the reason why I have so many drafts, works in progress and the reason that I have not published quite as much as I might have liked. Still, not complaining too much, 42 posts is not bad going and I’m proud to say I’ll stand by each. Whether it’s prose, poetry or life-writing, I choose my words carefully and I stand by them.

42 posts. If you are new to my blog here are 5 popular posts:

Prince Harry’s cock Back in August if you Googled ‘Prince Harry’s Cock’ or variations of it you’d see this post at the top (Mum would have been so proud): The Prince is naked, please don’t look if you’re thinking, who Googles Prince Harry’s cock? Apparently lots of people do and this post has been the most viewed by a huge margin. Sadly most people who found it would probably have been disappointed by the lack of a Royal member money-shot.

We’re all going to die here – read my thoughts on space, space travel, life in the universe and the future of Humanity: we’re all going to die here…

Punching otters in their Kidneys – Balloon Releases are dumb, really dumb. They kill wildlife and pollute our environment. Find out more here: does your life suck? Why not kick a duck to death?

On Shyness – I talk about overcoming shyness: confessions of a shy guy

If the president does it, it’s not a crime! Perhaps the most controversial of all my posts and the one I’m assured will come back to haunt me. Bring it on: On Abuses of Power I’ll say again, I choose my words carefully and stand by them.

Thanks again to everyone who has read my posts over the last year and to all the brilliant bloggers who have given me the benefit of their experience.  There are lots more to come over the next year.

You know the drill, if you don’t like these thoughts, stick around, I have plenty of others!